I am a contradiction with my running: I like the routine and structure of a training plan with an end goal in sight but at the same time I enjoy the unpredictability of being a “free agent” and simply running whenever I feel like it. Possibly it’s a reflection of the clash between my autism and ADHD but, regardless, it causes my running to drift and I don’t think that’s a good thing.
When I sign up to an endurance running event I will draw up a detailed schedule and lock into that for however many weeks it takes. It forces me to lace up and get out, whatever the weather might be doing – let’s just say a spring marathon is very good for forcing you out the front door when it’s cold, dark and wet.
A life without purpose is a languid, drifting thing; Every day we ought to review our purpose, saying to ourselves: This day let me make a sound beginning, for what we have hitherto done is naught!
Thomas a Kempis
This black and white thinking is not without issue though; previously, I have run through injury and made things worse, and I can find myself asking “what’s the point” and perceiving everything to be ruined if life causes me to miss even a single session. I might be a registered coach but I have a horrible habit of not following my own advice. That said, does any professional?
The polar opposite to this is having no plan or structure to my training. The unpredictability of this satisfies my craving for dopamine and provides for the ultimate flexibility if life at the time isn’t great for running because, for example, it’s too busy. The reality though? Not so great. Without the requirement to get out running it’s very easy to convince myself that I’m too tired, or too busy or the weather isn’t quite right. My running drifts as a result and my Strava activity calendar ends up with such wildly unpredictable dots that it looks like a fly has shat on it.
So, this is how 2026 currently finds me. Some good runs in the bag, but also plenty of missed opportunities when I could and should have gone out. Let’s face it, the weather has to be pretty extreme to make running unsafe as opposed to simply uncomfortable; in terms of being busy, actually getting outside and moving is exactly what my body and mind need to decompress.
My fitness has suffered as a result. I like to convince myself that at any point I could just get up and run a half or a marathon, because in the past I have. But at the moment, truth be told, I can’t and this is something I need to address.
So as we ease into February and the prospect of Spring, I need to find an event or a challenge to get me motivated and consistently out there because, left to my own devices, there’s a very good chance that I won’t.
